i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
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Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
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I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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