does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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