is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
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The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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