Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize