I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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