I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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