Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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