2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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