My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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