This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize