where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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