Texts From Last Night

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  (904): View more from Florida

  how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard

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  (904): how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard http://tfl.nu/2uys
  Replies (13) Good night (828) Bad night (1815) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Why are handjobs necessary in class?

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  (651): Why are handjobs necessary in class? http://tfl.nu/p9nw
  Replies (28) Good night (2300) Bad night (607) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?

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  (818): question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all? http://tfl.nu/n95r
  Replies (6) Good night (3333) Bad night (874) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet

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  (847): I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet http://tfl.nu/ttdp
  Replies (41) Good night (5308) Bad night (1407) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis

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  (315): Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis http://tfl.nu/8w9k
  Replies (82) Good night (11056) Bad night (1456) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..

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  (785): Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine.. http://tfl.nu/247z
  Replies (8) Good night (4637) Bad night (1371) Order T-Shirt
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.

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  (305): I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave. http://tfl.nu/m7xq
  Replies (16) Good night (11566) Bad night (759)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.

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  (636): It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference. http://tfl.nu/wkzw
  Replies (14) Good night (4262) Bad night (763) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.

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  (281): okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry. http://tfl.nu/ycuw
  Replies (26) Good night (1510) Bad night (4362) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"

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  (740): He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work" http://tfl.nu/lj9u
  Replies (6) Good night (3438) Bad night (553) Order T-Shirt
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.

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  (662): Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though. http://tfl.nu/ai8a
  Replies (7) Good night (1285) Bad night (547)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick

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  (432): She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick http://tfl.nu/csbc
  Replies (10) Good night (979) Bad night (457) Order T-Shirt
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.

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  (808): I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it. http://tfl.nu/dne1
  Replies (11) Good night (873) Bad night (383) Order T-Shirt
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.

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  (563): Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory. http://tfl.nu/lh6g
  Replies (5) Good night (1294) Bad night (305) Order T-Shirt
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight

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  (902): Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight http://tfl.nu/n0ex
  Replies (8) Good night (1059) Bad night (309) Order T-Shirt

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