It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize