Me too!
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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