normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize