I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
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I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
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Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
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