We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize