dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize