I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize