Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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