This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
