I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just invented taco cereal.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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