I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
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