I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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