My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
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I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
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I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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