THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize