theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize