I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize