It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize