I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize