I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
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