I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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