You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
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Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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