On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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