The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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