New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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