I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize