I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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