I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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