My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize