Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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