Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
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Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
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I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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