I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize