Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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