There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize