Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize