Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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