I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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