My underwear smells like fireworks.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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