No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
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She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
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Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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