I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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